"to be human is to be finite"

I've decided to post some "in progress" shots of one of the drawings I'm currently working on because I think i'll be taking a little break from studio work.

There are 3 or 4 drawings that I seem to bounce between, finding that moving on to something else when I start to get frustrated helps. Removing myself from the situation whilst keeping up the momentum of making something. Stopping the drawing from becoming over-worked. Unintentionally realizing a solution to the problem whilst working on something else.

I'm not fully content with this drawing. I guess that is the point of it being "in progress". It feels like it needs to be stripped back further, partially erased. Whilst simultaneously it craves more detail. Maybe a go-between process. Draw, erase, draw, erase.

I think I'm having to step back from studio work for a little while in order to concentrate fully on my dissertation. I don't seem to be able to manage the two efficiently, being that I'm less prepared with the writing than I should be.

I spent quite a few hours today reading the research that I've gathered for it. Most of which I found really exciting. Is been a while since I've come across a subject I genuinely feel so passionately about.

Recently I've found myself contemplating my time in art school and by extension, lifestyle in general. In 8 months or so I will have left the school, and god knows what will happen then. I don't. And I've always liked not knowing but now its starting to become something to be concerned about. As stressful as things can be at times with being given the blank instruction to "make work", not knowing what the hell to make, thinking you maybe know what you might want to make, not having the money to make what you think you might want to make, not having enough time to convincingly make what you think you want to make, then when you've made the work and convinced yourself it is what you want to have made you are then criticized (the phrase "torn to shreds" is often used within my peer group) for the work you have made by a panel of those who know better.

Youch, anyway. My point is as stressful as things can be at times, the day to day lifestyle of it is very enjoyable and something that I should stop taking for granted. I'll generally wake up when I wake up (should realistically aim to be in the studio for 9.30 but as there are no designated class times and minimal tutor contact a late start can easily be made up for with a late finish). I'll take a leisurely hour-long walk to school via one of three routes; city walk, leafy closed-down railway track walk or riverside walk. Spend the day with earphones in, listening to good music whilst caught up in the process of putting pencil/paint to paper. Being surrounded with like-minded friends who share the same stressses. Picking up books to read that have more pictures than words. Picking up books to read whose words really get your blood flowing. Taking the same leisurely walk home. Catching up with flatmates while creatively cooking up something with the food you manage to scrounge in the beautiful flat paid for with money you don't have to worry about yet (student loan). Playing board games, playing guitar, watching movies with the boy who tells you how pretty you are. Staying up as late as you want. Spending a few days a week working at a place where you can also call most of your co-workers friends. Not to mention spending any night of your choosing drinking in a club that plays the music you want to hear with people you want to dance with but a stumble away from home.

Yes. Its a good life. Temporary, but good.